Why Should a Spouse Not Serve as a Sponsor?

Posted on July 31st, 2009

Q. I would like to know why it is not recommended to use fiancées or spouses as sponsors.

A. Inquirers sometimes suggest a Catholic spouse, fiancé(e), or “significant other” to serve as godparent or sponsor.  It is not prohibited by the code of Canon Law or the ritual book, but it also is not advisable, even if they meet the canonical requirements.

The close emotional tie makes it difficult for the inquirer to freely choose to become a Catholic.  It also is difficult for the godparent or sponsor to remain objective if problems arise that threaten the conversion, such as doubts about a certain doctrine on the part of the person who is trying to decide whether to become Catholic.  There can be a temptation for the godparent or sponsor to not allow such a crisis to run its proper course, since he or she has so much stake in the person’s “successful” completion of the process.  The participant then is deprived of the disinterested advice and loving, but non-pressuring support that a godparent or sponsor should be providing.

A pastoral solution for inquirers is appointing a parish sponsor and inviting the spouse, fiancé(e), or “significant other” to accompany the inquirer to the catechetical sessions and liturgies.  Should a participant, however, then choose the spouse/fiancé(e)/”significant other” as a godparent before the Rite of Election (which cannot be prohibited), the leader might suggest that the participant choose the parish sponsor as another godparent, canonically permissible so long as both godparents are not of the same sex.

Tags: Sponsors
Filed under Q & A, Sponsors |

2 Responses to “Why Should a Spouse Not Serve as a Sponsor?”

1. Bill Grist Says:
   August 26th, 2010 at 8:34 am

   Your comments were very interesting but we must face the idea that we live in the real world. Most spouses who convert are doing so for their spouse or their children. The “family” pressure to convert or not convert is already present. The irony in our program is that the biggest opportunity Spouse Sponsors present is their lack of knowledge of the whys and wherefores of the Church. Without really knowing it, they have passed misinformation to their wife or husband.
   Through prayer and an open dialog with them, we try reduce any conflicts that may occur.

2. Gilbert Marquez Says:
   October 15th, 2011 at 11:50 am

   I really appreciate this article. It recognizes that canonically nothing prohibits spouses being the sponsor, yet pastorally the Christian Initiation team needs to find parish sponsors for a couple of reasons mentioned in the article as well as :

   1) it expands the catechumen/candidate’s mind about the meaning of church community
   2) it ensures that the catechumen/candidate’s process is one that can be free of “outer forces” that would hinder an open-question process.

   What I have noticed is that when you have candidates that are very ready for being in Full Communion with the Church, and their spouse is already Catholic, that spouse would be a fine candidate for the Christian Initiation process….but just know that the candidate would lose the feeling of the bigger church community by not having a parish sponsor.

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